I've been going through a lot in these past few weeks...I've had my yearly laryngitis...now this isn't just a few days event. No, it lasts for 8-10 weeks every year. I have had it since January 11th and so I am now in week 6 with NO voice! Unless God does something it will be another 4-5 weeks before I can speak normally. I deal with it every year...with the exception of last year...and it is quite an ordeal. I am a children's pastor...I cannot preach...my son-in-law has to fill in for me...thank God Jeremy is willing and able. I also run the office for my husband's business...answering the phone, dealing with customer's and such...not good when you have no voice with which to answer the phone. Many times in these past 6 weeks I have had customer's hang up on me because they cannot hear me. Many of them laugh at the fact that I have no voice. I'm not quite sure why they think it's funny because it's really NOT. Besides the inconvenience of having no voice and not being able to effectively communicate...laryngitis wears a body out. I am utterly and completely exhausted by the end of the day. I want to do nothing. I don't have the energy to do anything. Ok, ok, ok...enough of that...I have other issues that God has been dealing with me about.
A few weeks ago I found out about some major changes in our church and in my family. I was devastated. I'm not big on changes...well, not when they effect my family. Our pastor is leaving to plant a church. Not only is he leaving but he is taking my daughter and her family with him. That is the devastating part. Now, don't get your dander up...I want my daughter and her husband to be in the perfect will of God...no matter how hard it is for me. Wanting that doesn't make it any easier for me when He decides to move them. Now, they are not physically moving...the new church plant will be in the greater metropolitan area and they do not have to move their home. Thank God for that. However, not having them in church with me is killing me. In fact, I was so devastated that I thought perhaps God was telling me that I was no longer to be a children's pastor...I was not sure what God wanted from me. I know all the appropriate scriptures that tell me my hope in in Him and not in earthly thing, or in my case...in my kids, etc. But for a mama that lives in the joy of having her kids all serve God, live close enough to see on a regular basis and all go to the same church...this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with in my time in ministry!
This is where This is the Stuff comes in. It hit me like a ton of bricks today. This is the stuff that God uses to strengthen us. This is the stuff that God uses to get our attention. This is the stuff that we need God to work through in us. So this is my prayer today...Lord, break me of impatience, help me conquer my frustrations, give me a new appreciation, while it may feel like it...it's not the end of the world.
I pray that you have understood my ramblings today. It's a little difficult to put it into words without sounding like a crazy person. Ultimately...God is working in me. I don't understand the reason why I must endure what seems like endless laryngitis year after year, but it's fine...I'll get through with God's guidance and direction. I don't know why God would separate my family but I know it's for His purpose at this time and at some point, we will likely be back together ministering again. All I do know is that God has blessed me and I will endure whatever comes my way if it helps me to grow in Him.
I am including the video here. Click on it and enjoy. Perhaps God will speak to you through it.
Walking the walk & talking the talk,
We may not be ministering in the same place but I am so thankful we are not "moving."
This is the stuff...love the song and yes these trials we all go through are the stuff God uses to make us who we are. GReat post!
Love that song too! We let all these things drive us crazy, but God is using them to get our attention. God has a plan and He is working in our lives. We cling to Him!
Sissy, it is so hard for us to understand at times but yes, God does know what He is doing and why He is doing it. Because we love Him with all of our heart we always want to do what He wants even if we don't understand why. I know and have known you have been hurting so much and there was nothing I could say or do to help you other than pray for you. It is so hard to let our kids go out on their own sort of speaking but God knows what is best. I know you will endure whatever it is the Lord allows you to go through and it will make you stronger and perhaps have more patience. We will continue to pray for you. One of these days you will thank and praise the Lord for this tribulation. Lovin' you, Sissy.
The first time I heard that song, I had a similar reaction Debi. It's very easy to get frustrated and distracted by the changes in our lives each day, but in many cases God uses those moments to strengthen and teach us something we need to learn.
I pray that your laryngitis clears soon, and that You feel His comfort in your time of concern.
Have a Blessed Day!
Thank you, Phil. I appreciate the prayers of God's people on my behalf. Thank you all for the comments. They are certainly appreciated. God bless.
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